"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to announce that we have found a stable wormhole leading back to the Alpha Quadrant. It will take approximately seven days to reach it. After we exit the wormhole, it will take just one more week to reach Earth, where I know several of you have families waiting. Congratulations! I would also like to take this time to say it has been a true honor working with each and every one of you. Without such a wonderful crew, returning to Earth would not have been possible. I thank you for these eight, uh, educational years we have spent together. I know that those who are not here with us today are smiling, where ever they are, to see us where we are today. Thank you all for making this day possible. Janeway out."

Cheering could be heard from all over the ship. On the bridge, however, things were a bit more restrained. Harry couldn't wipe the grin off his face. B'Elanna, who happened to be on the bridge at the time, had an intense look of satisfaction on her face. She had succeeded in her goal, keeping Voyager in one piece, all the way home. Tom, who just two years ago, would have scowled at the news, was looking smug. That message from his father awhile back really had done wonders for his self-esteem. Tuvok even had the faintest shadow of a smile at the corners of his mouth, though he'd never admit it.

Janeway and Chakotay? Well, they were the only ones who saw the other's eyes, so how would I know? I'm just a fly on the wall.

Literally. I've been here all eight years. How did I live that long? Let's just say it involved a transporter beam, a very large rubber band, and some very weird aliens, about two decades ago. I'm not sure, but I think I'm immortal. Quin, the immortal fly. Not a bad ring to it.

So anyway, about eight years ago, I thought "Hey, I've seen most of Earth, why not see what there is on other planets? See the universe, do some shopping, maybe meet some nice hunky alien bug to have a fling with... it'll be fun!"

Sure, "it'll be fun". I just happened to choose the one ship that ends up in the Delta Quadrant. Just my luck.

Anyways, I was going home again! Along with the humans, of course. But home!! I must have billions of descendants by now! So much news to catch up on. Wow. That'll be cool! Hey, let's go to the Mess Hall. Neelix will be flipping his lid!!

There's Seven of Nine, talking to an Ensign from Security. If she wasn't sure it was irrelevant, I would say she was a bit anxious! Naomi is having a very heated conversation with her mother, not surprising. Look at that huge group in the corner, trading toasts! This is going to be a fun week!

Neelix's party was a smash. Literally. Tom talked him into serving real alcohol, and nobody left sober. Tom got two days in the brig for that one, until we hit a rather nasty ion storm, and needed him back at the helm.

It was a good thing, though, that he was locked up for two days, because if he had been out and about, B'Elanna would have killed him. A lot of pain would have been involved. Apparently, she and alcohol don't mix well. She was in Sickbay for twelve hours straight, and the Engineering staff has never been so terrified.

Let's see... oh, the Doc has been a bit worried lately, about whether or not Starfleet will delete him. Heads would roll if they did, of course, but he's been copying his program into different sections of the computer, "for safekeeping", for the entire week. Anyone who complains about the "wasted memory" finds out they're due for a physical. It really has been a quick week, you know.

Harry Kim is a bit anxious himself. Every time I'm in his quarters, he's in there muttering about Libby. Poor unfortunate soul.

Naomi has been quite a troublemaker lately. She was lost for two hours, until B'Elanna found her in a Jeffry's tube. She wouldn't come out, just chucked a padd at B'Elanna's head. It turned out to be a list of demands. Her mom got her out pretty quickly though. So I've heard, anyways, I was off watching something much more interesting.

"What could be more interesting?", you might ask. Well, go ahead, ask.

All right, I'll tell you. Harry, Tom, and a few silent partners decided to make one last go at getting Tuvok to laugh. Yep, the Holodeck program again. The priests were, "hippies", I believe the word is. There was a lot of, well, un-priestly activities going on.

But that's not all! The entire temple was mauve, with pink polka dots! And there was a "drive- in" off to the left, showing some ancient, horrible, old Earth movie called "The Blob"!

Weirdest thing I have ever seen in my life. And I've seen some funny things.

Harry is now scrubbing plasma manifolds with his toothbrush, and Tom joins him after his stints in Sickbay and on the Bridge.

Tuvok has yet to crack a smile.

Oh, well. It was fun, anyways!

Hey, the Captain's getting ready to make the jump. Better to be a fly- on- the- shoulder than a fly- on- the- wall, right? Here we go!

Oh, and don't forget to watch for flying ensigns!

Hey, the viewscreen's coming up! Best pay attention!

*"This is Captain T'Letran Azetbur of the Klingon/Cardassian/Romulan Confederacy Starship 'Rura Penthe'. Identify yourselves and prepare to be boarded!"

...

Wow! Janeway's actually speechless! And Chakotay is getting that protective, angry glint in his eye. This isn't going to be good. Best to get a front row seat! Janeway, here I come!

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship 'Voyager'. And just what is this 'Confederacy' you were talking about?

"Federation? Impossible. You must be one Picard's spies! Very well, we'll confiscate your ship after we interrogate you. Azetbur out."

Well, that was interesting. Yep, good idea, Kathryn. Let's get out of here! Take us away, Tommy boy!

Ugh! Well, they've certainly come along in technology! That tractor beam is spectacular! I hope someone comes up with an idea real quick!

Whoa! That felt weird! Hey, I'm falling! Where's Kathryn? Or Chakotay? What just happened? It almost felt like a transporter, but I didn't go anywhere!

(Can't figure out what happened? There was a transporter accident! Quin's been cloned, as you'll see in a moment. I'll call the clone (the one with Kathryn and Chakotay) Kwin, to forestall to much confusion.)

Kwin's POV:

Hey! What's this? Where am I? And what the heck is that smell??!!

Thanks, Chakotay, Kathryn nearly fell over. Good catch!

"Welcome to the 'Rura Penthe', 'Captain'. Bring them to the interrogation chamber!"

Uh huh, at least they haven't noticed me! This is going to take a miracle to get out of! Hey, you thug, stop shoving Kathryn like that! Just who do you think you are? Yikes!! All right, buddy! Just stop that!

This isn't a nice looking room at all. Have you guys ever thought of getting an interior decorater? Those bright lights do absolutely nothing for all those sharp metal corners. And those tables need a couple pretty tablecloths, maybe a centerpiece or two.

Hey, what's the big idea? Those things aren't beds! Let Kathryn and Chakotay off those things! That can't be comfortable. What's with those needles? Oh no! Voyager better get here quick!

Quin's POV

Tuvok, taking control that quickly isn't going to be good for morale. B'Elanna already ran down to Engineering, and Harry's scanning away. Did you see that?! They just disappeared into thin air!